I've been reminded that I should write in this thingy here.

--I really am most awfully fond,
Of playing in the lily pond.

But enough about me, let's talk about...

Sex, baby.

That which I have been fortunately deprived of for so long, Yes, quite fortunate, you read correctly.

For I find that intercourse is rarely what it ought to be. Fellatio is much more convenient.

Then down we came,
And down, and down,
And landed in a funny town.

I'm still an avid tobacco user, only now I have sunken into the dreadful habit of using coupons! But do not hope to deliver me into the arms of cold turkey salvation.

But wait, you better wait a bit.
You haven't heard the worst of it.

--I've moved far away into the depths of Lunatic Land, and lost my view of the sea, as well as the lovely ocean breeze.

I am Magic Toad, --he cried,
And I don't ever have to hide!

In other news:

The chances for having a giant head are: 67%
The chances for floating are: 43%